My Flirt
by Samu
Summary: Sequel to My Bet. Against all odds, JD's willing to fight for it, using whatever methods possible. Unfortunately, it's not that easy. JDCox. Warnings: Swearing and slight sexual situations.


Author's Notes: After plugging out 12 pages yesterday and some heavy editing, this is finally done. Sorry for the corny summary, but it serves its purpose._  
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* * *

Fingering the elastic string around his neck, JD glanced around the corner, looking down the hall and through a patient's window to spy on his object of affection. Well, more of an object of want and need since that object was clearly objecting to any affection he tried to pass his way. Also an object of frustration, enough so that he needed help trying to win him over, even after a somewhat successful start. He told Dr. Cox he would wait, but he wasn't exactly a patient person and this was going nowhere, real fast.

All of his friends were still out of the picture since they had still had varying degrees of unhappiness with Dr. Cox since the bet. Turk tried to talk him out of his current plan of action, Carla gave him that don't-come-crying-to-me-later-because-I'll-just-tell-you-I-told-you-so-but-I'll-still-feel-sorry-for-you-look which JD found amazing that she could fit that all in, and Elliot was slightly freaking out about the entire situation yet. This was when he turned to his trusty friend the Internet, which now wasn't just good for those late nights he's alone or catching up on the latest Gilmore Girls.

JD saw Dr. Cox pause in his speech to the patient, look thoughtful, and turn to stare directly at him. He yelped, ducking back behind the corner and wondering if his mentor had gotten hawk eyes implanted sometime in his past. Maybe he could convince him to get wings as well and they could soar in the sky while singing A Whole New World.

Filing that away for later, he ducked into the closest bathroom and pulled out a sheet a paper. It's not like he normally needed help flirting, he was the god of love after all, but Dr. Cox was something else. His enigma, his Gordian Knot, his secret treasure, his decoder ring's puzzle. And, he was trying to resume normal functions with JD after the back-throwing-out incident, which wasn't a very promising sign. He read the first tip.

_1. Smiling. You must smile. You probably think you smile now, but you don't, really. You should practice your smile in the mirror—to be big enough to be noticed, your smile will probably have to be bigger than you are used to. _

Smiling was easy enough. JD pocketed the paper, walking up to the mirror and giving it his best. Yeah, this one would be easy. If he could win Dr. Cox over with anything, it'd be his smile. After all, it helped him get into medical school. Remembering the tip, he smiled even wider until his jaw cramped, making him bend over in pain and bang his head against the sink. He heard laughing come from the door, groaning when he noticed it was the Janitor.

"Smooth, Scooter. I don't even have to do anything to get a laugh."

JD ignored him, but realized this was the first time he had seen the Janitor in a few days. He looked at him, eye brow raised, and wondered if he could get by him without ending the good streak. "Don't worry, your rest period has ended. I'll be torturing you according to schedule from here on out."

His eyes widened when he thought that the Janitor really might be able to read his mind now, but when he didn't lash out as JD imagined him in a tutu, he knew he was safe yet. He laughed nervously, edging towards the door. "So, why don't you just keep on the new schedule? It seems like its working out for everyone."

The Janitor appeared to consider it, but shook his head. "It's too boring, but I can't kick a man when he's down. Janitors do have a code of honor." He paused, glaring at him. "Or do you think that janitors have no honor? I'll have you know that the Janitorial Society of America started in Japan during the Warring States Period, embracing Bushido—"

JD made his move and rushed out the door, not in the least relieved as the Janitor called out a warning about air ducts. A whistle rung out, and he saw Dr. Cox waiting for him at the end of the hallway, arms crossed.

"Well, Mindy, are you done hiding around the corner, waiting for the blue light special so you can run and beat all the rest of the house wives to get that ever-so-special brazier you've always wanted?" JD let it slide, knowing a new meaning behind the names, and spread a smile across his face. Dr. Cox raised his eyebrows, not impressed. "I'm glad you've attained a whole new level of nirvana, Newbie, but this hellhole is going to suck it right out of you. Of course, I'm sure you could always retreat to your little fantasy land and start riding that unicorn of yours." JD decided to not correct him about his horse with a sword on its head, and instead tried to make his smile even bigger, his muscles beginning to feel the strain again. "Dear lord, I think he might actually burst a vessel! Shall we watch? Nah, I've actually got better things to do than bet on how long it'll take your face to crack in two. Come on, idiot."

Dr. Cox whirled around, starting his trek down the hall, and JD ran to catch up to him. He massaged his cheeks while his other hand pulled out the list, checking it while the older doctor ranted in front of him.

_2. Getting caught looking. Most people look away when the object of their desire looks at them. If you want to let that person know you are interested, when she catches you looking, smile, hold eye contact a moment longer, then look away. _

JD shrugged, deciding this one would be easy enough as well, and could incorporate his winning smile. Dr. Cox was still off in ranting land, only stopping as they entered a patient's room in order to get down to business. He picked up a chart, and JD decided that anytime was a good time to start.

"Well, Ms. Baumgartner, I can't say that I'm glad to see you since it means your cardiomyopathy must be getting worse." He smiled at her, making JD wish he would get a smile like that. He'd definitely have to remember to carry a camera on him, since it may be a rare event, and was worth catching for posterity. "But, you're not the worse patient ever, so it isn't exactly a horrible experience to see you."

Ms. Baumgartner did something, but JD was unable to tell what since he was still staring at his mentor, waiting for him to catch it. "Always a charmer, aren't you?" She paused again, and JD's interest was beginning to be piqued, but he couldn't risk looking away. "From the look of things, I'm not sure if I'm the one you should be charming."

Dr. Cox's head cocked to the side, then slowly turned it towards the younger doctor. He stared at JD as he smiled, held eye contact for a little bit, and looked away, congratulating himself for a successful flirt. "Excuse Georgina here, she's just starting to hit puberty finally, and boy, is it hitting hard." Growling at JD, he turned back to her. "If she speaks to you, just look away and pretend she's not there. You never know when a hormonal girl will attack."

Huffing, JD glared at Dr. Cox, wondering why his flirting was so ineffective. Ms. Baumgartner tsked, warning, "Dr. Cox, remember what I said about the insulting?"

"And remember what I said?" Dr. Cox responded, his face growing angry. "I'd ship you right up to the who-gives-a-damn ward and make sure you have an extended stay. Hell, maybe you could even get a job there as a no-one-cares-ologist." She frowned back at him, and he crossed his arms. "I'll keep pushing you up the transplant list, so you make sure you keep that nose of yours close to your face. We don't have a transplant for that when someone hacks it off for sticking it in their business."

Watching Dr. Cox storm out of the room, JD decided it wouldn't be safe just yet to follow him. A sigh came from the woman on the bed, causing him to turn and watch as she pulled her knees up to her chest. "That man is a chore."

"Tell me about it," JD agreed, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

"I try to be friendly, and bam!" She slapped her hands, and JD jumped, startled. "Brushed off, left behind." Smiling tiredly, she rested her chin on her knees.

"Try to make him open up and you'll get burned," he nodded.

"I'm just lonely. Hospitals aren't exactly inviting."

JD scooted closer, squeezing her shoulder. "Don't worry, I have a good feeling about today, Ms. Baumgartner."

"Please, call me Jessica. I can't be much older than you are." She stretched out again, eying JD. "So, how's the relationship?"

He backed away slightly, laughing. "You're going a little too fast for me. Don't get me wrong, I'd definitely think about it under other circumstances. I need at least a couple of dates and preferably a background check—"

"No thanks, Dr.," she squinted at his name tag. "Dorian."

"JD, or Tiger, if you'd so prefer," he smiled.

"You're a strange one, aren't you?" His smile faltered, until she continued, "But you have one awesome smile. Do you practice?"

"Just comes natural to me. I have been blessed with this beautiful face and a firm buttocks," he sighed, staring off into space.

"Sure. Anyway, you and Dr. Cox?" JD turned fire-engine red, instantly wishing he could control the reaction when she laughed. "I was sure you were either trying to burn a hole in his head or undress him in your mind."

"I was just trying to figure out if he had a fuzz in his hair," JD mumbled, getting a tsk from from her.

"You don't have to be ashamed. I'm sure everybody knows."

JD blew out a breath, looking away. "It's not really that easy. I take one step forward and he starts running away. More like jumping in a car and speeding away. Or like a plane. That's a bit faster, and you can cross oceans."

Jessica nodded sympathetically, patting his shoulder. "He seems like a difficult man."

"That's just the half of it! He finally starts showing _something_ and it all turns out to be a bet," JD scowled. "I still haven't really gotten over it, even though he gave me a candy necklace." He showed her the remains of it around his neck.

"Well, maybe that's what's holding you back," she said. "You just need to start over, and go at it with your all."

"I think I will," JD said, his resolve returning. He pulled out his list again.

_3. Waving. A little wave to someone who caught you looking, along with a smile, is a non-intrusive, very flirty way to say "hello." _

Deciding this wouldn't be enough, and slightly discouraged from his previous attempts, JD glanced at the next one as well.

_4. Winking. You can wink at someone from across the room, or wink at someone during a conversation._

"What are you looking at?" Jessica asked, trying to peek over the paper before JD hurriedly shoved it back in his pocket.

"Nothing!" he said, getting off the bed and heading for the door. "Thanks for the help. It seems like I've been getting all the wrong kinds from my friends lately."

"No problem. It's just nice to talk to someone who listens."

JD paused, thinking something over. "You know, you kind of remind me of another heart transplant patient I had a few years ago."

"What happened to them?"

His eyes widened, not really willing to tell her what had happened to Elaine, so JD just gave her a smile and hoped it would distract her. "I'll come back and visit some more later. Maybe we can talk then." She nodded, waving as he exited.

He ignored the heavy feeling in his heart and instead prepared himself for his next meeting with Dr. Cox. He was going to give that doctor the best damn wink and wave he'd ever have seen. Nothing would get in his way, not hurricanes, tornadoes, girl scouts, or even the Janitor. His resolve was invigorated, his bread was buttered, his... his... JD pursed his lips. He actually ran out of things, but shrugged it away and continued down the hall, imagining the interns flying this way and that because of hurricane JD.

Of course, that's when hurricane JD ran into hurricane Jordan and was swept away into nothingness.

"Dammit," JD swore under his breath as the sight of Jordan and Dr. Cox fighting in the reception area. As if to throw salt in the wound, Jack was entwined in Dr. Cox's arms, giving the scene almost a happy yet dysfunctional family feel. Their argument appeared to be over as Jordan grabbed their son, smirking at her ex-husband before walking down the hall towards JD.

Starting to panic as she neared, he looked frantically around for a place to hide, and almost succeeded, but Jordan managed to grab hold of his collar and prevent him from moving. He smiled nervously at her, stilling looking for possible escape routes.

"So, DJ, I'm out of town for a couple of days and you find the balls to try to seduce my ex-husband." JD squirmed in her grasp, surprised at the iron grip of just one hand.

"No ma'am, I did nothing of the sort."

She smiled sweetly at him, rocking Jack idly with her other arm. "I don't know what you crazy kids call it these days, but listen to me." Pulling him close enough so their faces were only inches apart, she stared him down. JD focused on keeping his lower lip still and not pissing his pants. "I worked hard to get Perry back, and don't think that I'm going to let a sissy little doctor even try to steal him away from me." She backed away, finally letting go of him and walking away, Jack gurgling happily and none the wiser. "Not that you really have a chance."

JD watched her saunter down the hall, his heart still pounding in his chest. He had been sure that he was a goner for a minute, and no one would've found his body since it had been incinerated by her glare. Groaning, he couldn't believe that he had forgotten about Jordan and Jack. Dr. Cox was getting farther away from him all the time.

"Wassup, JDizzle?"

He almost cried in relief when he saw his best friend walk up behind him. "My Chocolate Bear!" JD exclaimed, opening his arms to hug Turk, but stopped at the warning look.

"You know better," he said pointedly, shaking a finger at JD.

"I thought we were past that," he pouted.

Turk leaned in, looking both ways before saying, "That was before Carla said I had to stop because it made her feel funny." At JD's look, he added. "And she threatened no sex."

Nodding, he looked away, unsure of whether he should still be unhappy about Turk's participation in the bet. The surgeon sighed, clearly reading his mind and uncomfortable with the issue. "You know I feel bad about the whole bet thing, JD, but I really was trying my hardest to help you out. I'm still a little weirded out by the man crush."

"I guess it's not really that anymore," JD said, rubbing at his head in frustration.

"C'mon Vanilla Bear, I'll buy you some lunch."

* * *

"You know when you said lunch I was assuming something a little better than the cafeteria," JD said, poking at his soup.

Turk waved a hand dismissively, "This is all I can afford."

"Am I not worth a little more than this?" He batted his eyes at the surgeon, but Turk just snorted.

"Not with those medium scrubs. No one wants to see that."

"Now your just jealous of my firm mutton-like butt." JD stood up, doing a little turn.

Turk shielded his eyes, moaning in pain, "It burns!"

Pouting, he sat back down, deciding to finally try the questionable looking soup. "Do you ever wonder if the Janitor replaces the chicken with rubber?"

"No, because I'm not paranoid." Turk grinned. "It'd probably be squirrel meat anyway."

JD spit his soup back out and wiped his tongue off with a napkin. "Yuckie."

"He's got to do something with all the squirrels he stuffs, right?" he said, but soon turned serious. "So, are you still serious about this whole Dr. Cox thing?"

"Yeah," JD sighed. "But it's not really working out. Now Jordan's on my case."

"Devil Lady?" His eyes widened. "Good luck, dude. You've really become like a brother to me, you know that right?"

"Just make sure you keep my funeral arrangements."

"Track down Journey to play at the funeral, avenge you, hug position, set up a scholarship fund in your name that rewards hair product excellence," Turk counted off, frowning when something didn't come to mind.

"Install a horse with a sword and tie it to my tombstone. Oh, and my tombstone needs to be a full-sized statue of myself, cast in bronze, preferably, and shirtless. Feel free to exaggerate my manliness."

"Somehow I always forget those," Turk shook his head. "So you're willing to go up against a demon to try to win Cox over?"

"Remember the candy necklace?" JD asked, pulling out the string around his neck. "That's got to mean something. And I'll fight to get whatever it means."

"Real deep, JD. Real deep," he replied, sitting back slightly. "I can't believe I'm going to help you with this."

"Really?" he exclaimed. "Sweet! This is just like college all over again."

"Except with a dude." Turk shuddered, but continued. "So what have you all tried?"

Pursing his lips, JD wondered if he should show Turk the list, but you can share anything with best friends, right? Well, only occasionally girlfriends, and never candy. He reached into his pocket, producing his flirt list.

Turk took one look at it and burst out laughing. "Dude! These are so middle school, I can almost see your braces."

JD covered his mouth, alarmed. "You swore you'd never talk about that! I only showed you the pictures because you're my friend and I needed that Saved By the Bell tape."

"Sorry man, but these are special circumstances." His laughter died down, and he tossed the list back. "Honestly, JD, Dr. Cox isn't a woman. Smiling, winking, and waving are going to be lost on him."

"I never got to wave," JD said, petulantly. "It might've worked."

The surgeon rolled his eyes, leaning in closer. "You're going to have to start actually thinking about what Cox likes in women."

"Evil?"

"Strong, stubborn, women who can mow him right over," Turk nodded wisely, leaning back again. "Look at Jordan." He pointed towards the lunch line, where Jordan was currently staring down the lunch lady and getting free food. "You're an idiot if you get in her way."

As if to prove a point, Elliot walked right in front of Jordan, almost initiating one of her clumsy moves until a single look from the dragon stopped it in its tracks. JD could almost see Elliot quit breathing, just in case. At least he might see Jordan give her mouth to mouth, but that was a hopeful wish. Jordan would probably dance on her corpse.

"So you're saying I need to be domineering? I've kind of tried that when I went to his apartment the other night and—"

"Whoa. Stop there. I don't need any details. I only agreed to help."

"Noted. Thanks buddy!" JD glanced at his soup, but decided it wasn't worth the squirrel risk. "I'm going to initiate Operation Become Like Jordan and Win Cox Over While Not Getting Killed by Jordan."

"You're going to need more than luck." Turk dug in his pocket, producing an Elvis do-rag. "The King will guide you."

"Thank you, thank you very much." JD did his best Elvis impression, but all he got was raised eyebrows from Turk. "Right." He left the cafeteria, his determination riding high once again.

* * *

Bypassing the heels and skirt since JD thought that would be going a bit too far, he instead sauntered around the hospital, trying to look like he owned the place. It was easy enough to do as he thought more and more about becoming the chief of medicine. He would finally get that respect he was always looking for and could build a throne in Dr. Kelso's office. Dr. Cox would sit on his right, feeding him chocolates as the nurses and doctors pleaded for better equipment, more beds, and extended disco hours. He would benevolently grant their wishes until a time came when he thought himself untouchable, bringing about a coup d'etat lead by Dr. Cox who would install a horrible dictatorship upon the hospital which was devoted to stroking his ego, but also gave cheap health care.

His beeper eventually shook away the disturbing idea of Dr. Cox standing over him, scapels and needles in hand as the world behind him blew up. He smiled when he saw it was his mentor, calling him into Jessica's room. Tying Elvis to his ankle, he entered the room, feeling pretty good.

"Ah, Newbie, so wonderful to have you grace us with your presence," Dr. Cox greeted, causing JD to smile until he continued on. "I'm sorry if we interrupted you from powdering your nose. I know how important it is for you to keep up your look and girlish figure, but honestly, Isabelle, that boy you keep trying so hard to find is going to be such a disappointment when he sweeps in and decides to sweep back out with all of your money and dignity. But don't worry, patients will continue to die as you stare in the mirror, telling your cheeks to suck it in."

JD bit his lip, wondering if this would be the right time to start trying to emulate Jordan. Why the hell not? "Well, Dr. Cox." The older doctor turned, not quite believing he was being spoken too after a rant. "I'll have you know that I'm done taking all the girl crap you throw at me everyday." His courage began to increase the longer the other man stayed quiet. "This is a new day, a day where I'm known as JD. Where I'm respected as a doctor." JD glanced at Dr. Cox, noting his vein beginning to pound. He bit his lip to stop it from quivering, but continued on anyway, "Yeah, this is a new day. Um... Yeah. New day. Respect me?" He started trailing off as Dr. Cox turned to Jessica, who was minding her own business, and smiled wanly.

"Excuse us for a second." He turned back to JD, his face red in full anger mode. JD already regretted trying out Turk's advice.

"Don't you usually pull the curtain at a time like this," he asked weakly. "You know, so she doesn't get bloody?"

"Well, _JD_," somehow, it was less than comforting to hear his name, "I want her to witness this dressing down, and don't you even take that in any positive way." Dr. Cox glared at him, growling. "You want respect? Maybe after you stop smiling like an idiot or hiding around corners to spy on people or actually do something that can be re-_he_-motely considered laudable, the committee can consider it."

"There's a committee?"

"Don't interrupt me again if you like to think you might have man parts, because I will rip out whatever equipment you have down there and decorate your head with them. This," he waved his hands around between them, "is never going to work. Not until you stop whatever moronic campaign you're on and leave me the hell alone. I don't need added idiocy to your normal stupidity when I could barely stand it before." Dr. Cox paused, glancing down and causing JD to wonder if he should cover his neck. Instead of biting it, the older doctor pulled out the string from his candy necklace and snapped it off. "And don't think that this means anything." He snarled again, hitting JD over the head with a chart before shoving it in his hands and storming out of the room.

JD whimpered, almost able to hear his heart shattering and clanking to the floor, and even the Janitor's indignant snort when he had to sweep it away. Clapping sounded behind him, making him look forlornly over his shoulder. Jordan sat in a chair, smiling evilly. "Wonderful show, JD. You really could have at least tried to make a couple bucks off of it." She stood up, her smile turning sickly sweet as she walked out the door. "I told you he was mine."

He didn't even have the heart to glare at her, but just banged the chart against his head and wondered about his stupidity. "Don't be so hard on yourself." He looked up and Jessica smiled weakly at him. "He didn't completely boot you out of the picture."

"I think it sounded pretty definite," JD sighed. "He even ripped off the promise necklace."

"And you're just going to let it end there?" He looked at her like she had grown another head. "Don't you think that he thinks you'll back down? Well, what if you do the opposite? Fight back!"

"Jordan wouldn't have given up yet. She probably would've ripped his hair out and fed it to him," he murmured, bringing out the glue for his heart.

"Atta boy," she said. "I got a heart, by the way."

JD smiled at her, his spirits and 120 watt smile returning. "Great! Now both of our hearts can start to mend. Although, I do think yours will do it a little faster, and probably better. I don't think I could get on the transplant list."

"Yeah, I'm really glad. I'd give you my old one, but it's a bit broken." She rubbed at her ribs, wincing. "I can't wait for the chest pain to go away."

"I'll make sure to get a nurse in here to check on you."

"Don't worry about it." She winked. "Go get him, Tiger."

"Rawr," he growled, making a pawing motion before striding out of the room confidently.

Once he knew he was out of her eyesight, JD leaned against the wall, his spirits falling again. "Operation Become Like Jordan and Win Cox Over While Not Getting Killed by Jordan sucked, but at least I'm still alive. Turk is getting rusty."

He could feel a pair of eyes on him, and from the lack of malicious intent, JD knew it wasn't the Janitor. Speaking of the cunning custodian, nothing had happened to him since he saw him in the bathroom, which began to worry JD. He frowned, but noticed the stare was from Carla, who was switching into mother mode.

"Bambi, come over here," she called, and JD decided it couldn't hurt. "I'm guessing from Dr. Cox's storm off, Jordan's smug look, and your depression that your day hasn't been going very well."

"You get the blue ribbon!" he grinned, giving her a thumbs up.

"Don't you give me any attitude."

"Sorry, ma'am."

"That's better," she nodded before patting him on the arm. "You know Dr. Cox isn't just going to throw himself at you." Carla watched as JD's eyes started to wander, snapping her fingers to bring him back. "Don't think you can just fantasize while I try to talk to you either."

"I never know when they'll hit," JD shrugged. "It's kind of like a disease."

Carla rolled her eyes. "Bambi, if you want to get anywhere, you're going to have to stop pretending."

"You know that relationships are all about hiding the crazy in the beginning, Carla."

"I think that after three years, Dr. Cox knows your brand of crazy pretty well."

"I'll take that as a compliment, thank you." JD smiled at her, making her slap him lightly. He rested his arms on the counter, sighing. "It's not really that easy anymore."

"Jordan," Carla growled, making him back away a bit. "She just rubs me the wrong way.

"I can help," Elliot spoke up behind them.

"How, exactly?" JD asked, eyebrow raising.

"I could distract her!" A blush began to rise in her cheeks, setting JD's mind off into wonderland without any stop. By the time he had gotten away from the handcuffs and back to reality, Elliot and Carla were discussing the matters at hand. He frowned, deciding he was quite the integral to the plan and they really shouldn't be deciding important parts of his life without him.

"So I'll page Dr. Cox to get him away from the hell beast, but you have to make sure that she doesn't come with."

"No problem," Elliot said. "I'll just start telling her about my mom and her eyes are sure to glaze over. She'll never know that Dr. Cox had left." She paused frowning. "Not that I understand why everyone does that. My stories are important! I won a writing award once, but I was the only girl in it, and that judge just kept on staring right at me." She sighed. "Ah, Mr. Gersich..."

"Right. We're going to work on that whole crazy thing later," Carla said, ignoring Elliot's protest. "So JD—"

"I think I can figure out my own part, Carla," he interrupted.

"What did I tell you about giving me attitude?"

"Nothing, really. I just assumed something bad would happen."

"Damn right something will, and don't mess this up," she warned. "I don't want to have to sacrifice Elliot for any cause." Elliot stared at her, not quite sure if she was kidding, but Carla just smiled back. "Don't worry, Jordan's claws are only so sharp. Just stay an arm's length away and you should be fine."

"R-right," she responded, looking a bit more nervous now. "Wish me luck."

"Do you want Turk's lucky do-rag? It really hasn't helped me much."

Elliot looked at it, disgusted. "No thanks. I have no clue where it's been."

"Elliot, be nice to Turk. He's come a long way."

"Yeah, be nice to my Chocolate Bear."

Rolling her eyes, Carla said, "I'm working on that next."

"Sure," Elliot said, moving off to the elevator. "Good luck with that."

"Well, Bambi, are you ready for this?" Carla asked.

"Come on Carla," JD said confidently, but was really unsure of what he was going to do. "I was born ready. Ready is my middle name. Ready steady Eddy. Ready—"

Carla ignored the rest and gave him a reassuring smile before walking off, saying she would page Dr. Cox in five minutes. Groaning, he pulled out the list again. Since the whole domineering thing didn't work, and being himself hadn't worked for the last three years, he could hope that maybe something in the list would finally be that thing which would push them over the line.

_5. Asking "what's the story behind that?" You can ask "what's the story behind that?" about any special or unusual thing your quarry is wearing or carrying._

JD shoved that one aside, already imagining the verbal beatings he would get for being such a girl. Although, he did want to know what the nose touching was about. Maybe it was always itchy.

_6. Holding eye contact. While you are conversing with her, you want to be sure to have eye contact at least some of the time. At least once it's a good idea to hold the eye contact a little "too long," just a fraction too long, so there's a brief, more intimate moment between you. _

This was going to be too hard with Dr. Cox seething over being paged about nothing. Although, he did have the most beautiful blue eyes, even when they are angry. They kind of start sparkling manically. JD briefly wondered if hawk eyes were blue, but just disregarded this one and continued on.

_7. Non-intrusive touching. This can be as simple as placing your hand lightly on her hand for a moment, or touching her back for a moment as you walk to a table to sit down._

He blushed as he thought of Dr. Cox's attempts at this not too long ago, and knew this was a winner. Tucking it away mentally, he glanced down at the other ones.

_8. Checking her out. Checking out her body must be done properly. The goal is for your new friend to feel complimented that you noticed her body, not objectified like some piece of meat._

Frowning, JD was pretty sure he needn't worry about making Dr. Cox think he was being objectified. He was narcissistic enough as it was without his help, and would probably enjoy it on some level. He was just about to read the next one as they were torn out of his hand by a very angry looking Dr. Cox.

"My god, Sheila, I know you're desperate, but really, is this necessary? Using the 'goodbye compliment'? Checking her out? Oo, let's try that one," he spread his arms out, grinning briefly before growling. "What the hell do you think you're doing paging me down here for nothing? Jordan is probably tearing Barbie a new one, and I'm sure that the show would've been so good, even the interns would be brave enough to watch it. But of course, here we are again, with you and the annoying thing."

JD sighed, only really half listening to the rant. He was mulling his options over in his head, before finally deciding to grab Dr. Cox's wrist, which elicited a snarl from the man, and dragged him to the closest closet. After throwing out a couple of interns, ignoring Dr. Cox's further rants, and locking the door, JD turned to him. He watched as words continually shot out of his mentor's mouth, the movement becoming maddening. Talking had solved nothing so far, so all that left was the physical part.

The last few days came crashing down on JD in one bout of sexual aggression, and he pushed Dr. Cox up against a shelf. This was no easy task since he was smaller than the older doctor, but he had the element of surprise and it had worked before. Unfortunately, Dr. Cox had figured out what was going on and turned his face away, so JD's lips met his stubbly cheek.

This didn't discourage JD, after all he hadn't been pushed away, so he kissed and bit at his jawline, moving up to nibble on the ear and letting his grip loosen. His hands snaked around Dr. Cox, grabbing his ass and getting a growl from the doctor, who finally moved to wrap his arms around him.

Their positions quickly switched when Dr. Cox flipped him around, one hand on his hip and the other wrapped firmly around his chest. JD inhaled as the hand on his hip moved inward, and lips bit at the back of his neck, the older doctor almost making a purring noise as his tongue snaked out.

JD all but cried when both of their pagers went off, wondering not for the first time if God really did hate doctors. He could tell Dr. Cox was not any happier, snarling and cussing as he picked up his pager. The swearing increased when he read it, and he rushed out, leaving JD behind.

Taking a shaky breath, JD ran after him, checking his pager on the go. His stomach dropped when he saw Jessica's room number, remembering the earlier promise to get a nurse for her. He could already hear the flat line from down the hall, piercing his ears. Dr. Cox beat him to the room easily and was already using the defibrillator on the still body.

"Clear!"

He couldn't do anything but watch the as body jumped and the monitor whined angrily, accusing him for neglect. Dr. Cox readied the paddles again.

"Clear!"

His own heart jumped when the monitor beeped, bringing life back into the room with one great breath. Dr. Cox exhaled, setting down the paddles and turning to him.

"Newbie, page surgery. We need that new heart." He frowned when he got no answer, and whistled, shaking JD out of his reverie. "I mean now."

"R-right."

* * *

JD sighed, leaning his forehead against the cool glass. He had been standing here for who knows how long, watching his best friend and the rest of the surgical team work on Jessica. His pager was mysteriously silent, probably signaling that Dr. Cox had taken over his patient load. If that man was nothing else, he was reliable. Reliable in insults, reliable in help.

Groaning, he flexed his legs, which were very unhappy he was subjecting this torment upon them. He wanted to go and distract himself with patients, but that stupid little voice in his head kept on blaming him for not finding that nurse earlier. If he had ignored his problems for a second, maybe he would've noticed the fatigue and chest pain as definitely not good signs. The urge to bang his head against the glass was tempting, but he had a feeling it would only distract the surgery.

The heart monitor shrieked, making JD's breath hitch in anticipation until Dr. Wen turned and just shut it off. He wanted to barge in there and tell them not to give up yet, but he could tell from Turk's fleeting glance toward him, nothing else could be done. Sighing, he finally succumbed to the urge to punish his forehead against the glass, earning some strange looks from the surgeons.

JD peeked at his watch, a little surprised to see that his shift had been over for half an hour already. He trudged down to the locker room, loading his backpack methodically, and glad somewhere in his mind that he was getting out of this hellhole. Maybe he could go out for an appletini, or even a nectartini if he was feeling up to the headache later. Watching Lion King was always a possibility, but Mufasa's death might be too much for him. Of course, sleeping was always an option. He needed a good coma-like sleep.

He headed toward the exit, entertaining the idea of going to Dr. Cox's apartment. The image of a door being slammed in his face came to mind, especially after he had tried to shack up with the doctor in a closet. Although, he didn't seem to object too much, but Dr. Cox was a bit funny in the head so it was hard to tell.

In the end, JD decided to head home, chill with Rowdy, and try to catch something halfway decent on TV. Something blue caught his eye as he neared the outside doors, and JD noticed a puddle of paint pooling just inside the exit. Curiosity overruled any good sense that was telling him to stay away, and he walked right up to the puddle, looking between it and the ceiling as another drop fell. He should have known something was up when he found the air duct was the source of the paint, and as a blue river sloshed down upon his head, he could feel the frustrated scream already surfacing.

"Come on, Newbie." JD felt a hand grab his wrist and pull him out of the hospital. He opened an eye and saw the Janitor smiling at him, waving slightly until he saw the mess of paint on the floor. He glared at JD, pointing to the mess and giving him a throat slicing gesture, but the young doctor really could have cared less.

Dr. Cox pulled him over to his car, giving him a warning look that said if he even got a drop of blue paint on it, he would die, slowly and horribly, and probably from paint poisoning. So, JD stood and waited, shivering slightly against the chill of the night and the slimy coating on his skin.

"Wipe yourself off, Rachel. The death warning's severity increases inside," Dr. Cox said, throwing a towel at him before getting in the car.

Pulling it off his head, JD started scrubbing himself slowly, a little hesitant about getting into a car with Dr. Cox when he had no idea where he could be going. For all he knew, Dr. Cox could drive him down to Mexico, leave him there to fend for himself, and drive off, laughing manically. Then JD would have to fight the various people wanting his body and organs, since he was, after all, quite attractive and healthy, and open up his own taquito store/hospital to make enough money to come back up to California. Then he could blame the Janitor for it all and finally exact his revenge, involving the removal of all squirrels from the state in order to force the Janitor to move away to be able to continue his hunting. Maybe by then, Dr. Cox would feel sorry enough to take him in.

"Any day, Delilah. I'm not waiting forever."

JD quickly finished up, hoping he was dry enough to survive the trip. He opened the door, surprised to find more towels waiting for him, covering the seat and surrounding areas. Dr. Cox glared at him as he carefully got in, watching closely to see that his very expensive car stayed exactly like it was. When he was satisfied, he drove off to some unknown destination.

Tapping his fingers nervously in the silent car, JD moved to touch the radio, but his hand was slapped away with a "Touch that and you'll find you won't have any more fingers. They'll be shoved into your ears to make sure you can't listen to anything ever again," so he sat back, looking out the window and watching the city go by.

Oddly enough, rain starting pouring down only a few minutes into the ride, accompanied not long after by a roar of thunder. JD watched the drops slide down the window, wondering if the world was mourning. His nose scrunched up when he thought just how cheesy that was, and a laugh slipped out. Dr. Cox glanced at him, but didn't say anything about it, instead flashing the windshield wipers on and wiping the rain away.

To say that JD was surprised when they pulled up to Dr. Cox's apartment would be an understatement. Perhaps his idea of being taken home with the older doctor wasn't all that off base after all. Dr. Cox shut the car off and got out, saying nothing to JD as he walked into the complex, so he assumed he was supposed to follow.

The first time he got out and scurried after Dr. Cox, he had to run back and grab the towels, knowing that his mentor wouldn't want anything to stain. By the time he had finally got into the apartment, he was relatively wet, but paint free, and Dr. Cox was pouring himself a glass of scotch. JD was about to ask what to do with the armful of towels when the older doctor pointed toward the hall, saying, "Bathroom's second door on the left, anf feel free to use it. Oh, and could you keep your mouth shut for once? Jack and the hellcat are actually sleeping, and I really don't enjoy the screeching that comes from either of them when they get disturbed. You'll be fed to them as a pacifier."

Nodding, JD made a zipping motion across his lips, earning himself a roll of Dr. Cox's eyes. He walked through the hall, taking in the parts of the apartment he had never seen before. He counted a total of five doors, one opening to the light snoring of Jordan with perhaps a hint of another, louder snoring, sending JD's mind off into fantasy land, another door with toys spilling out of it, and the rest closed. Picking out the bathroom, he went and dumped the towels in a hamper.

The numerous items of what could only be Jordan's caught his eye right away, and he picked up the hair gel, looking it over and appreciating the citrus scent. The mirror was next, causing JD to stick out his tongue when he saw the splotches of blue across his face and chunks of it in his hair.

JD shed his clothing, unsure of what to do before deciding to just heap them into a pile. He turned the water as hot as it would go, adding a bit of cold as an afterthought so he wouldn't melt. The rantings of Cox about clogging his drain poked at his brain, making him giggle as he stepped into the shower.

Deciding between the manly shampoo that was undoubtedly Dr. Cox's and would probably make his head bleed or the Fructis was easy enough, but as he lathered his hair, it hit him pretty hard that he was naked and in Dr. Cox's apartment. His face reddened, the image of a naked Cox doing naughty things bulldozing his mind away. He scrubbed at his head furiously, squeezing his eyes shut.

It's not like it could never happen, even after the mixed signals he has gotten from the older doctor. JD blushed even harder when he thought about the night where he had barged into Dr. Cox's apartment and basically started playing tonsil hockey with him. The feeling left abruptly as both Dr. Cox's words then and earlier today bombarded him.

JD sighed, letting the water wash out the shampoo. How was he even supposed to get along with a man who constantly berated and belittled him, yet drove him wild? Damn, idiotic... He pursed his lips, thinking it over. Attraction? Hell yes. Love? JD frowned, trying the word out with his tongue, but gave up when it just didn't feel right yet. He sighed, turning the water off. Damn, idiotic whatever he felt.

Drying himself off with a new towel, JD realized he had absolutely no clothes left which weren't soaked with blue paint and rainwater. A blush hit his face again when he realized he would have to ask Dr. Cox for some loaner clothes, but had nothing to do it in except a towel. He wrapped it around himself as tightly as possible, trying to control his red face as he tip-toed out of the bathroom.

In the living room, Dr. Cox had already changed out of his scrubs and was wearing some loose-fitting sweats and a t-shirt. His head rested against the back of the couch, with his eyes closed and glass of scotch in hand. JD became torn whether he should risk waking him or just stand and stare until he got up on his own.

"Honestly, Newbie, unless you're going to prove me right, there's absolutely no reason for you to be covering your chest like that," Dr. Cox said, opening his eyes and letting them wander over his body. JD pulled the towel around himself closer, looking abashed and blushing yet again, making Dr. Cox smirk. "T-shirt and shorts on the table. I expect them back, so don't even think about adding them to your shrine."

JD practically lunged for them, muttering about Turk forbidding anything of the sort in their apartment. Dr. Cox's eyes followed him out of the room, making him wonder all over again what the hell their relationship was now. Maybe he should try the whole spontaneous needy sex thing again. It's almost worked two times so far, and the third try is lucky, right?

The smell of pizza teased his nose, making his stomach growl before he could tell it to be quiet. He paused, but the world was still here, so Jordan couldn't have been woken. Reentering the living room, he now saw Dr. Cox chewing away at a pizza, the TV on low and showing some old B-movie.

JD sat down on the couch, not quite willing to put his plan into action while his stomach growled for pizza. He glanced at Dr. Cox, but he was either sleeping with his eyes open and still eating pizza or engrossed in the film. When his hand wasn't slapped away, JD grabbed a piece and started scarfing it down, his hunger hitting him full force. He thought of the possibilities of being able to eat while sleeping, wondering how much time it would free up in his day.

"It wasn't your fault."

"Eh?" JD's head snapped towards him, a chunk of pizza almost falling out of his mouth before he shut it.

"It was luck we managed to find a heart for Mrs. Baumgartner, and bad luck that she ran out of time," Dr. Cox said, taking a drink of his scotch.

JD swallowed, his hunger abating as the guilt returned. "I told her I would find a nurse to check up on her." He threw the rest of the piece down. "I was too wrapped up in my own crap to get one for her."

Dr. Cox sighed, rubbing his face and setting down the glass. "Yeah, it was pretty idiotic to let your personal life get in the way." JD frowned, not really sure how this was helping. "But her heart was going with or without you." He turned to glare at the younger doctor. "This in no way means it's okay, because it's going to happen again if you don't get your head out of your ass."

"And you don't do the same thing?" JD asked, somewhat indignant.

"Hell no. I know how to separate the two, since I'm the best damn doctor that hellhole has." He paused, finishing off his piece of pizza. "If you keep letting your girly problems get the best of you, expect me to drop you so fast, you'll still be wondering how you fell from the roof, let alone got up there in the first place."

"Maybe if you weren't such a huge problem in my life—"

"Whoa-ho-ho, there Newbie. Do you really want to go down that route? Or would you like to just skip it while I show you just how annoying you have been in my life?" He placed a finger on his chin, looking contemplative. "Let's see, I usually can't go five minutes in the hospital without you paging me, I'm constantly cleaning up after you, and then you barge right in and decide you want something different, trying to win me over with your girlish wiles and charms. Now, on top of your normal annoyances, I have to deal with your failed attempts at flirting with me. Dear lord, do you think you could get anymore desperate?"

"You were the one who started it," JD said, trying to keep his voice down, and standing up. "You and that stupid bet."

"I was pretty sure we were past that," Dr. Cox said, crossing his arms. "And I was pretty sure you were going to give me my space and wait."

"Well you know what? I got impatient," he replied, mimicking the gesture. "I wasn't quite expecting you to act like nothing happened."

"What was I supposed to do? Do you think this is easy for me? I have an ex-wife who is a harpy and still living with me, a son who happens to partly be hers and mine, and a rather shitty life on the whole. Do you think you can handle the crap that comes along with the Perry Cox package? Or are you going to worm your way into my life and leave it just as easily when things get tough?" He glared steadily up at JD, grabbing the his glass to take a drink.

JD glared right back, not willing to give in easily. "Do you think I'm just looking for a quick fuck? I've followed you around and took everything you threw at me since I've become a doctor, and guess what, I haven't left yet. Don't you think I can handle it by now, or am I really just that weak in your eyes?"

Dr. Cox sighed, his hand massaging his face until he opened his mouth to speak again. He was interrupted by JD's cellphone blaring out Beautiful Day, followed by a wail down the hall and an equally angry roar of "Perry!" coming from the bedroom. He threw back the rest of his scotch, getting up and heading back to Jack's bedroom. JD, meanwhile, ran to the bathroom and searched through his pants until he finally found his phone.

"Hello?"

"Vanilla Bear!" Turk's relieved voice came over the phone. "I thought someone finally kidnapped you and took you to the circus. You know I can't come within a ten mile radius of a clown, so it'd be real hard to swoop in and rescue you."

"Sorry, Chocolate Bear. The Janitor dumped a bucket of paint on me, and Dr. Cox took me to his apartment."

"Oh," he paused. "OH! Sorry man. Just make sure to keep the details to yourself. I need to go scrub my brain with some steel wool."

"It's nothing like that," JD said, rolling his eyes. "We're fighting more than anything else, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be kicked out now."

"Sorry, dude. You know me and Rowdy are always here."

"Thanks, man. I'll see if I can escape alive." He heard footsteps walk past the bathroom, and he managed to catch a glimpse of Dr. Cox. "I have to go."

JD only half listened to Turk's goodbye as he shut the phone, making sure it was on silent before venturing out to the living room. He walked in slowly, noting that Dr. Cox was sitting on the couch, his head resting in his hands. Moving behind him, JD decided he was mostly likely already dead, so he just went ahead and threaded his fingers into Dr. Cox's wiry hair, massaging his head lightly.

When the older doctor leaned back and relaxed into his touch, he applied more pressure and felt some of his weight lift as a was sigh released from below him. If he could just get his hands in Dr. Cox's hair anytime they had an argument, JD had the feeling he could win. No matter what. Maybe he should try it out now...

"Stop whatever the hell you are thinking right now." JD paused his hand movements, worried his thoughts were transferring directly into his brain. "I can tell it's idiotic just from the way you move. And no, this will not work in full-out rant mode. Nothing can stop a good rant." Dr. Cox grabbed his wrist, pulling him over the couch. Since he wasn't quite ready for this, JD more or less collapsed awkwardly into his lap, his face going tomato instantly.

"Uh—"

"Just shut up." Dr. Cox glared down at him for a moment, but looked away. JD was about to move out of his lap, but from the growl he received, it was probably better not to. Not that he really wanted to, but he had been pretty sure that they were just in a fight not moments ago and this was an prime position for Dr. Cox to wail on him. "Listen, if you want to get into the crazy that is my life, feel free. I'm making no promises of chocolates or hugs or even if this will last, but I can assure you that my son will always be here and Jordan will always be Satan's minion. Or Satan may be her minion, it's hard to tell. The thing that matters is she'll always be here too, whether either of us want it or not. So if you feel you can deal with this shit, then whatever."

"Whatever?"

"Yeah, whatever," Dr. Cox looked down, giving an almost smile, but there was something unsettling beneath it. "Whatever the hell you want to do with it."

JD stared up at the older doctor, trying to decipher what was really going on. He knew he'd probably never get an admission of fondness, so this would have to work for now. That look in his eyes wasn't exactly promising and JD didn't want to get into this just for it to fail, but he didn't want to let this chance go by either. Dr. Cox had looked away again, staring at the TV as a way to distract himself.

Something suddenly dropped onto his stomach, making JD worry all this had been a distraction and now an alien was implanted in his gut. His hand immediately grabbed at it, and he was relieved when it hit nothing squishy. Instead, it was another candy necklace, exactly like his last one. He looked up at Dr. Cox questioningly, but his eyes weren't met.

"Two came in a pack, so eat it. God knows I'm not touching it." Dr. Cox finally looked down again, murmuring, "This one might mean something."

Ripping the necklace out of its packaging, JD slipped it over his neck and rested his head against Dr. Cox's legs again. He started chewing away at the tiny candies, turning to watch as a vampire appeared out of nowhere and the leading lady screamed. A smile crept across his face, and a growl rumbled behind his head.

"You drive me so damn crazy it makes my head want to explode." JD grinned at him, chewing off another candy. "Be glad that I love myself so much that I can't."

* * *

Author's Notes: Sorry for the double note. I wasn't real happy with this for a long time, but I'm pretty satisified with how it turned out. There's already a sequel bouncing around in my head, with a boatload of angst. I hope this meets everyone's expectations, and thanks for all of the support! 


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